43-year-old James Lee charged into Discovery Channel building in Silver Spring this afternoon, taking hostages and engaging in an hours-long standoff with police before they shot and killed him. Lee posted his demands on his website, journalists found, savetheplanetprotest.com. And, despite the bleakness of the situation, they’re hilarious. Lee loved the animals of the forest; he hated babies…
Read the rest of this entry »…and looked like a more freedom-loving David Spade. …and an adequately freedom-loving Captain America …and the walmart staff from west virginia.
Read the rest of this entry »So there was apparently some kind of gathering/cookout/festival on the mall this weekend. Not really sure what it was about, but it probably had something to do with the 1521st anniversary of “Theodoric, king of the Ostrogoths defeating Odoacer at the Battle of Isonzo, forcing his way into Italy.” Anyway, we sent a reporter down [...]
Read the rest of this entry »Glenn Beck’s ”Restoring Honor” rally will be held on the National Mall tomorrow, as you may have figured out by an unusual concentration of visiting conservatives already invading the District in their pickup trucks and on their Hoverounds. Liberal critics are angered that the event will be held on the 47th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s [...]
Read the rest of this entry »If you are reading this post, you are probably from Washington, D.C. or at least vaguely aware that it exists. You are also probably dead. From murder. Or possibly immigrants. If only you had been smart enough to read the Maine Tea Party’s advice on where to avoid when visiting Washington, D.C. (seen here during [...]
Read the rest of this entry »Our beloved Washington DC saw an “uncommonly large number of arrests on prostitution charges” this past Saturday night. DCist reports that, between 9:09 and 11:57pm that evening, police arrested 12 people for solicitation “around the intersection of Georgia Avenue and Taylor Street NW.” So just in case you want to avoid an area in which [...]
Read the rest of this entry »Last Wednesday, Morso hosted The Georgetowner and Ann Hand jewelry for a happy hour, and my friend Shanna Torrey came with me. Ann Hand has been creating unique, often DC-centric designs since 1988. Hillary Clinton and Madeleine Albright are long-time fans of her patriotic pins, and their Obama collection was very popular during the inauguration. [...]
Read the rest of this entry »Transformers 3 will be filming in DC “later this summer.” If you are a DC resident, there are a few questions you should be asking yourself right now. Do I have a car? Have I done any precision driving? Do I absolutely love watching shit get blown up? If you answered yes to any of [...]
Read the rest of this entry »DC Sniper Lee Boyd Malvo wanted to get his story out. Apparently his 2002 killing spree with John Allen Muhammad was supposed to include two more people, but they “ended up backing out.” This is news. News was reported. Everything is normal. The earth is still spinning William Shatner reported it. Shit.
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